Xiao Yu That is Growing Up

Seriously.

2012-03-01T01:00:00.000+08:00

I'm wrong form the very beginning because i'm the one who is so stupid in believing everything you have said. I always believe that's true, for you, maybe it's temporary, but for me, i always do. I can't deny that i am always sad when i knew you are so close with them, that's your freedom, i don't have any right to sad for, isn't. I said i can be happy and forget all of the things, but the short term happiness keep rewind in my mind. and after that long term sorrow that continued in my mind. I have lost any hope towards you, i should have be calm and be friendly with you,i am trying so hard. Sometimes, i just don't want to make you feel like i care too much, sometimes just pretend that nothing happen at all, and laugh. That's so fake, seriously. I'm so tired with all of this, i want to leave this game if i can. I know i am already lose totally. I have been defeated. you win, congratulations. Who can tell me, why am i like this, always. I am really exhausted. :((
Seriously, i'm not a good daughter at all. I don't know how to cure my dad, i don't know how to give him any happiness. I just know how to study but ignore him. Why am i like this,i shouldn't be like this. Who can tell me, what should i do. I really don't want to lose anyone, any precious one. I love you. But i just don't know how to do. I don't know how to take care of him, i don't know how to be calm, i don't know how to be independent, and make him worry about me. It's all my fault, why am i just can't do anything right and good. WHY. Why i just know how to be sad, but not happy, why i just cannot be truthful to everyone, why i just can't be myself, why i just can't do my best, why am i like this. I'm totally a failure. HAHAHA

If i really made anyone pissed off, i'm sorry. If i really made anyone hate me, i'm sorry. If i really did mistakes, i'm sorry. I wish i can take care of myself more, so that i can take care of the others as well. And i come out with some resolution, be happy (as i am trying whenever wherever i can breathe), be honest, don't easily trust others because others don't have any rights to be good to you, don't fall for the others again, be hardworking on my studies, spend more times with my dad, cry whenever i really depressed because it's hurt if you can't cry but you really need to release sometimes, try to be friend just friend-caring, and take care of myself always.

My dream

2012-02-26T03:02:00.001+08:00

I wish i can travel to all of this places, maybe alone :))

This is my dream. So that, i can throw away all of my doubts, all of my worries and sadness and enjoy my vacation, maybe one day :)) . I don't want to be like this anymore. Everyone deserves to be happy, why should i be sad. I can't say out some of the feelings here, i wish i can put down all of my thoughts. I don't want to be sad because of the others.

I deserve to be happy all the time. I wish to.

It's hard to keep all of the feelings, it's so depressed and suffering. I wish i can say it out. But i know, it won't happen again. Never. I have no right to say it out.
Highly recommended movie :)) This means War

It's 3a.m ad, Goodnight peeps. :))

My happiness

2012-02-25T13:03:00.001+08:00

I am totally lost. I always think a lot, really a lot. I am wandering why am i here, at this crazy planet. Can't deny, it's amazing, it's a great world, with the super natural and beautiful scenery, i'm in love with it. No doubt, everybody loves it, but sometimes i can't make myself happy though. Is it because i have not found my direction, my reason to live. I always think if i really lost one day or passed away one day, will somebody realize my existence and cry for just even one minute. I am crazy, i am stupid, i am silly. I know, i thought i can be happy always but it can't last long, why. I really don't want to be like that. I am trying hard to be happy all the time. But the real happiness and fake happiness differ a lot. If you knew when i am really happy and when i am not really happy at all with looking through my poker face, thank god, impress you. Sigh, I'm not used to tell everybody what i really felt, that's why i am suffering all the time. No, I don't have the right to say that i am sad i am dead all of this stuff, compared to those that really need helps, and really suffering to fight for their life, i shouldn't say like this, it's wrong. Argh, i don't want to be like this, i need to be satisfied with my life, i need to be happy. There must be something that have stolen my happiness, i must find it out and destroy it. WTH am i talking about, it's not me at all. I have changed, changed to an unknown person. I want to cry, but i just can't. I don't know why am i living, i should give the chance for those who really needs it. At least, they can make their dream come true, unlike me, doesn't have any reason to live, just know how to waste the time.

can u differenciate between the fake and real happiness?

Be tough :)

2012-02-19T01:11:00.004+08:00

Let the picture do the talks.

He will be the next person to accompany me all the time. haha

Going to have a lots of photos with my dear friends. :)

After a long ride went back to my sweet home, then had a lunch with dear rou at Kinsahi. :) Didn't talk a lot, but it's warm to express my feeling. Actually,I am scared that i will cry when driving back, because during the depressed time when every week driving back, it's just like washing my face with my tears. I thought i will cry, but i didn't. Maybe my heart won't allow me to be stupid anymore. :))
Reflect back during secondary school time, if the exactly same thing happen to me, maybe i will cry everyday, thought the world going to end soon, and live like a ghost. I am also shocked that i can relieved so fast, and endure it by myself. Seriously, i never thought i can be so strong and tough. Maybe i rely too much on my friends last time, but now i know i have to be independent, and i am doing it. Don't ask me what sorts of thing that i have done, i won't say it out, it's the end and the last.
Maybe others may think that i am a bad girl after knew what i have done, i admit, i am wrong, i am bad. It's a very unpredictable and uncontrollable action for me, being stupid before and i will be smart for the next time. I might take a very long time to cool me down, and i enjoy single life much more, prefer to be friend all the time.
It's no use if we change ourselves for the others, because it won't last long. All of the thoughts and action is within ourselves, whether to be truthful or to be playful. No one can change us, except ourselves. I'm glad to have a friend that can be straight forward and say all of your thoughts out, it's more comfortable. :)
However, there are still a lots of jerks and bitch when you step out of your small world. It's true. HAHA.
My world is not only this kind of thing, it's too much. My A-level is driving me crazy. Homeworks that can't finish, exam that freaking a lot and i have no enough time at all.

My stupid classmate that say want to take a picture everyday.

I am going to keep my money for this :((

Another liam from one direction that is so hot. haha

Highly recommended movie. :))

It's a korea ghost movie, it's not scary at all, it's funny and interesting. :)

This song is great! :)

Interesting because of Miley Cyrus. LOL

Ciao.

:)

2012-02-16T06:33:00.000+08:00

It's been a long time i never feel like this. I am happy because i'm still me, the one that can think wisely while i am supposed to be sad. I have never regret that i did met anyone of you, that's make me stronger. I know that i really relieve a lot. I prefer the recent me, that everyday busy with my studies, so that i won't think otherelse, and have fun with friends, sometimes might depressed, but this is my life. Will not be silly for others that i don't deserve and not waste my times on pass by-er. I won't easily fooled by people and i will live a happy and an optimistic life, without jerks. No offence, if you think you are jerk. Thank you to those who made me sad before, because of you, here am i, a better one. :) Just appreciate everything that comes to me and every single human that comes to my life.

Relieve

2012-02-14T21:18:00.000+08:00

I have no idea why i know so much of things about you, maybe because of i care. But there is no way for me to be so stupid anymore. I can't face you anymore. I can't forget about the past. And i can't forgive myself. There is no way for me to be happy, but only left me with sadness. I'm sorry.
Please don't hurt others feeling if you are not sincere. It will just show you are stupid enough.

Don't simply guess about me, if you don't know about anything.

I don't think I can forgive you and myself. pretend to be strong is good but it hurts too :(

2012-02-11T01:39:00.000+08:00

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!
Actually, i don't want to hate anyone, it's so tired. But the time when i knew you are such a person, i can't pretend that i still can accept you, i can't seriously. I am so sad actually, because you won't know how much of things i know about you, it's so alot, and it also hurts me a lot. Everything is over now. Don't expect me to accept any form of you. If i continue to cheat myself, it's just will make me feel worser. It's time to face the truth, seriously, i won't trust you anymore. I'm sorry.
I'm not that kind of girl who will cry infront of others. I'm not that kind of person who will act weak infront of anyone else. I'm just me, even though how tough the circumstances be, i will do it myself, i won't need your help, anymore. Although sometimes, i might break down, i still can stand up by myself, no worries.
Today i have done a great thing that i never knew i can made it. It's so satisfied. Although it's a hard and tough path, it's just like the journey of life, the upps-and-downs, sometimes you just need to believe in yourself that you can. That's all. I'm proud of myself.
Oh my God! SN12B rocks, babe! i love you all so much!

I might be annoying sometimes, but bear with me. I will try my very best to be a better person. :))

There are so many things

2012-02-09T20:59:00.002+08:00

Today, i am having dilemma again. Suddenly i felt so depressed and sad when i saw someone, it's really a sudden feel that makes me feel my day is gone. And i feel like i am so shit. I felt so regret and sad and i am here to apologize. I know it's my fault, and i am so sorry. Even though, it may be a small case, but when i saw that person, i feel like i should be punished. That's why i am being punished now, i don't deserve. I don't deserve to have love. I don't deserve to be loved. I am so SORRY for anything. Everything that i have done.

I don't know that i am so weak until that day comes. I thought I can stay strong and won't fall down. :( But my head is so heavy till it wan to explode. My stomach is so pain till the tears come out. No matter what, i still have to stand strong until your pant drops, LOL. Maybe, i am not relax enough. It's all about test in my mind, mid-term test, real AS exam and the time table has come out. I know i should be start studying now, but i just can't work it out. :( It's not far away, it's so soon. And :( my result is not good at all. My result is sucks! Don't tell me i am bull shitting, and say that my result is so good, that's SPM, not A-level :(( And i still can't find the reason why i have chosen Science and why am i still stand strong till now. :( Am i going to be study science after A-level also? I just don't know why i need to find the tension of the string and what ion is behind the solution, it's not the thing i should be bothering. Somehow, i still will find some entertainment to make myself happy, if there is a reason for me to be happy.

Arghhh! I didn't go for movies long long time. I want to watch moviessssssss! Can I ? Anyone? Nah, don't say i just like horror movie, maybe some romantic and funny moviees i will like to watch. But DONT DONT invite me to watch the viral factor, please, just i don't like. ALA, i know Chinese new year is over, but it's not too late to watch right. :( i wish i am.

Actually i want to watch this movie more because Yang Mi is one of the actress, she is so beautiful :) but why she coupled with that guy :(

And this movie :) The Vow, can watch with friend mah! What's wrong if i watch with friend?! HaHA, maybe i think too much, they may be busy with their loves one.

BUT BUT, i want to watch the most is THE DEVIL INSIDE, but it haven't show yet in Malaysia. :( Don't know when :( I want to show the movie poster, but it's too scary, LOL i don't want to scared you, haha! See, now i care about you, TEEHEE.

Aikz, my feeling is so so so complicated now. In between of depressed, no mood and the mood that have no reason to be sad instead i should be happy. :(( ARGGGGGGGH! I don't know if i don't have a blog, what am i going to do, maybe SMS or not to, maybe CALL or not to, maybe CRY or won't, haha , oh yea i know it maybe write diary, don't laugh at me, i do have a diary before i have a blog, this call CUTE! Ahna, it's not. :(

Hmm, it's a stuff that i want to say it out so long time ago. What friend means to me? it's undefined, because it mean so infinity to me! No friends, no life, no 110. Haha. I know everyone will be busy with their studies or works or family or loves one or entertainment. But for me, my very very very bestie even though they might be busy, i really wish that they will send me a regards or whatever, it really will make me so happy and excited, just like electron that emitted out when reach active site, WTH am i talking, LOL. Oh yea, that's true. I like my friend so much. I like when i am with them talking craps or laughing for no reason at all. They coloured my dull life. :) I do wish to have a boy( friend ) that i can talks to,other than girl, i believe that they might have different thoughts and minds that maybe can make me more mature. I really do hard to find one. But i still can't find it, boy doesnt mean must have a relationship with a girl, it can be just friend:) Sometimes, i might ignore my friend, maybe i am too emotional, i am sorry, but it doesn't mean i hate you, i won't hate my friend, just sometimes angry, maybe i am being ignored. I don't like to be ignored. Or maybe some misunderstanding or maybe both of us fault, but we will be friend back isn'it, just maybe i too love you all. But when hard time comes, but i still need to face it alone, i don't like. :( Don't ignore me okay. Don't hate me okay. I am very scare if someone may hate me, or they really hate me. Please say it out if i do anything wrong, say it out immediately, so that i can change. Please say it out if i ever made you sad, if i can i would like to change. Maybe i will feel why should i change it, but after sometimes i will change it if i really wrong, with my best effort, guyz. I do love friends, and friends, love me too okay? I like to take picture with every creature that i have meet, but somehow i feel like kinda awkward if i ask college friend to take pic with me, maybe we are not so close. Not the girls, is the guys, college guys are weird, HAHA, truth!
Dang Dang Dang Danggggggg ! ..
My Primary friends, no phone mah, that time, and less gathering :(

My High School Friends! <3 not with orders okay!. There is alot more, but have no space dy . :) Owh owh, please ignore my short hair.

And here you are, my college frennnnnnns.. and u will know how less the pic are :(

and the last, showing you a heart <3 from me and another ah ling!

It may appear to you as imperfect heart shape, but i know we were trying hard to build it. :) We were so hyperactive and we thought we can't finish it, but we did it and end up scolding by both mother! it may be so cacat for you, but for me, it's perfect. This also show our friendship, i know we have argued so many times small one of course, we have misunderstanding each others before, and we know we were trying to maintain our friendship too. But for sure, i appreciate our friendship a lot! i really do. :))

And also, show you some pictures during my wonderful CNY, it may a bored one, but for me, it's quite interesting. :)
He looks like xiao xiao bin !!haha!

i realize that my mum and i become closer :) but sometimes still have argues..

Guess what am i doing, yea, make the egg stand! I know, it's what chinese tradition that make believes that egg can stand that day because they believe that the Sun is nearest to Earth, thus the attraction is strongest. I don't know it's true or not. But some said it's the ability of egg yolk to move to the centre something like that la har. haha. See from the picture, at first i can't make it and the ah ling teasing beside, and when i finally made it, she is so shocked! KNS,haha!

And finally, i know i am not pretty, though, life still goes on! Just SMILE! :) And say it'll be okay!

I m reali annoying abt myself now TT

2012-02-08T22:47:00.002+08:00

Stranger becomes the important person in my life

2012-02-02T19:15:00.000+08:00

I don't know what to say, maybe i have no energy dy. I feel so tired and not well :((
Alots of chemistry work to do and exam.
TT
And i am so uncomfortable now. FML

( Happy thing that happen today is, err lou sang with college friends! HCNY ! )

TIRED

2012-01-31T22:04:00.003+08:00

Seriously, i'm so tired and i don't know why. Maybe it's because of the exam, but i read nothing, seriously. I'm not joking. Back to my stupid life, that everyday sleep with the light on. It's not because of i'm scare of darkness, it's because i forget to switch off the light. FML. I want to sleep tight. Honestly, i can't say i'm happy enough, but at least i'm happier, haha! And i discover i have a bad habit, even though i am cold and shivering, still i turn my air-cond to the biggest, OMG. I know it's so cold, everyday freezing at college, in my car, at my house when i just turn on fan also cold, even eating steamboot my hand is still very cold. WTH.
Friends and family are the best, that's why DIGI giv us friends n family plan, muahahha. Lame joke. == Ok lah, my main point is i love my family and friends. During CNY, the best day is when going to friend house to take ang pao. LOL, it's actually when i am crazy with them. haha. aihhh, i don't like coming back to KL, it's not college friend not nice, it's the feeling. :((
And let's talk about 1 happy thing that i feel today. Errr, i reached home safely? LOL, i try hard to think about 1. okok, i know, it's i have finished my 1 test. FML, there is still got alot of exam behind. :((( i want to sleeeeeep :(((

HAHAHA!

Two types of people

2012-01-27T03:20:00.002+08:00

There is only 2 types of people in the world.
Fat people and slim people?
Short people and tall people?
Ugly people and pretty people?
Poor people and rich people?
Stupid people and smart people?
Or
Non-living people and living people?
HAHAHA
Okay, for me it's
Happy and not happy people
People who knows me will definitely know i'm not a happy person, but i will play crazily. That's who i am. I can laugh happily when i am sad. LOL. When you are sad, when friend console you, you listen nothing. You just can't get your mind out of the sadness, but then when you think back it's really silly. That's what this morning i have done. Wake up in the morning, listen to sad songs and think alot of craps and feel so sad then after that happy again. I don't like myself when i am sad, when i am sad, i will do alot of wrong things, and now i have to face the same problem again, i have lost one very close friend during high school, and now i have to make a decision, if i continue to be ignorance maybe i will lose a friend, that's why how sad am i, i still will be friend with you, don't worry. Because i know, become a good friend is not that easy. No matter what, please do appreciate every friendship you have :)) I don't like to be sad, so i will try to say one thing that makes me happy every post. Today, too many, hehe. First, my mum said she wants me if nobody wants me, haha! *blush blush*. Second, went to eat seafood and dimsum with relatives (because the dimsum is too nice, hahaha). Third, went to friend's house and have some talks with the girls and laugh like mad woman with them while watching ASTRO show. HahaHA! I wish everyday i can be so happy, and no worries for exam.
Give you some sad songs to listen, but just awhile only ya! haha

Still Hannah Montana is the one that can make me laugh when i am really depressed, haha! Maybe you should try to watch! K, goodnight people! :))

Happy CNY Peeps and I'm back!

2012-01-23T08:06:00.001+08:00

HAPPY DRAGON YEAR PEEPS!!!

May all of you have a great great start in the upcoming new year! May all of you have a prosperous and joyful year ahead! LOL, every year also wish can have a great start in the new year, but instead start with a miserable consequence.

First thing, I'm sorry if i have make any of you worry about me, include my college friend and dear cincin. I didn't mean to drink at college, it just i didnt think too much that time. Never will have the next time. Promise. Cincin, don't keep all of your things inside your heart kay, say it out, love you.

Second thing, it's CNY every one! However, this year CNY is much more special. TT, need to celebrate at house, because my dad have to take more rest. :) It's okay, you can find me at my house. Contact me, hahaha! My wishes for Dragon year is

I wish my family happy, healthy and blissful.
My dad will recover soon.
I can pass my A-level with flying colors.
Everything best to my friends, in their studies, in their works and in their relationship.
Last wish for myself. * Wishing now *

Actually, reunion dinner is a very scary event for me. HAHAHA, when every relatives come back, sometimes, they will say somethings behind the words. LOL. This year definitely will get less Angpao, so you give me okay?

Happy CNY everyone!! :)

Wa, i also can't believe i take pic with my sis neh, LOL

My daddy :))

my mummy :))

My grandma house , hehe

The last and not the least, Enjoy your holiday!

I wish everyone can be very very very happy, very very very healthy and good lucks come to you!

Be happy together everyones.

Mr. Blog - I need to be independent

2012-01-19T21:07:00.002+08:00

Sometimes i enjoy when i am alone, but sometimes alone is really lonely. And i hope that somebody will come and find me, and i hope that's you. STUPID still. T.T. Seriously, you never care. Why i still will go and repeating see your message again and again. You never find me in phone, that shows that you are not sincere with me, I should know it from the first day, but why, why i am still believing. I should know it earlier, but somehow, there is no difference if i know it. You said i deserve a better guy than you, that's just an excuse, because you never truely likes me before. You said you like me, it's just like you want to make yourself feel better after all sorts of things that you have done to me, isn't you. You told me not to wait for you, because you want to find another girl that is prettier and better than me, isn't you. But why you still want to fool me. Am i look like enjoying when you are fooling me. I am not, seriously, i hope you know that.

Mr. Blog - Are you Serious F kidding me

2012-01-18T22:03:00.004+08:00

When you are in a bad mood, everything bad will come to you. That's why i am in a series of bad circumstances. I know i shouldn't be like this, when I am totally sad, i will behave like more crazy. But inside my deep heart, i am bleeding. So, i am going to confess everything here. When i said i am fine, that's not at all. It's not at all, please come and console me. I have said that i can totally forget you, i thought i didn't like you like how i like the others before, but you are different. You are different, i don't know why. Because other won't treat me like how you did. But instead you are just fooling me, that's how stupid i am. Though i know i am stupid, still i miss you. I need your hug seriously. That's my karma! From the first day, i shouldn't be so greedy, that's my retribution. But somehow, how serious is the case, how stupid i am, how stubborn i am, i am still choosing my heart then my brain. Instead, how you treat me is like you didn't care at all. I don't know why you two have separated, i don't know and i dont want to know. Maybe, it's all your fault, but how bad you are, i still believe that you are not. But somehow, i realize you treating other girl the same way like how you treat me. Actually, everything you have said to me, i bear in my mind, everything you have done to me, seriously i still remember. I am just like shit to you, isn't you? But still i hope you are not. Thats why i am so stupid still. Everytime i saw your blog, i just can't control my tears. I have tried alot of times to not contact with you, not sms with you, not find you, and don't even care about you. But everyday i am facing you, my minds keep thinking rubbish. Before that, i won't treat the others like this. Just like today, my car broke down again, the first person i think about is you. The first time my car broke down, i called you. That time, i didn't care how you think. But now, I can't. I can't call you, i have no reason to call you, i don't have any excuse to call you. And everytime i have lost, i will call you. But i don't think there will be next time. Even if i call my friend, they will help me immediately, not like you that you don't even care. When i saw you in the class, i can't control my feeling again, tear drops again. Actually, i got so many things want to ask you, but i don't have the courage, if the answer is not what i hope, my heart will break again. I want you to hug me so badly just like how you hug me tightly before. I'm still can't put down all of my feeling.

2012-01-17T21:31:00.000+08:00

T.T

Another happy post, HAHAHA

2012-01-17T19:43:00.000+08:00

HAHAHA, i'm so happy! Happy for no reason, cause i am so so so happy! Happy till i wanna cry out loud! Yeah, I'm so so so HAPPY! Happy ! That's why i don't know how to smile anymore! That's too happy! Now only realize how stupid I am. From the very beginning till the very end, I'm officially a TOY! Not that barbie toy, is the toy that whenever who wants to play then pick me up and whenever who wants to dump away, here i am. So going to throw here and there! That's why i am so happy!!! So happy, i am really happy everyone! I'm happy because i am a TOY! Yeah, for me please! HAHAHAHA :(

This will be definitely a happy post

2012-01-13T22:27:00.000+08:00

My mood swing damn easily. But i will try to control and make myself to be happy again. I always think that everything will be okay, but it is not actually. But it is fading with time. And i will become more and more optimistic. I think, LOL. I always think that you are not the person like i thought that, but many things have proven that you are, and i hope you will change, i hope you will change for your better future, for yourself, not for the others. I know i am stupid enough to did all sorts of thing before. But that's me, not that i am deny it, because i accept it, and try to change it. That's the reason for you to grow up, nothing will change for you, but you have to change yourself. Not to know that you have done the mistake, and deny it, but to accept it and change it. I know i have talk alots of crap. Many stuff running in my mind now, and sometimes i get comfuse and make all sorts of thing mix up and done alot of wrong things. Many things. Many many things. Everytime i am sad, i will feel alone, although i always do that, haha! and my mind is full of rubbish. And i will tend to think that i am useless, i am coward, i am nothing. But after that when my friends found that i am lost, they will lead me to the positive road again. That's how good my best friend are! But somehow, we may be disconnected, and i will emo again. That's the routine of your life, to make you stronger, because not everytime you will have friend with you, sometimes you need to endure yourself. At least, now i am typing with a smiling face. :)) This few weeks i am busy with the college and my exam is coming soon. So soon, that i am rush of time. And i am planning to stay at college everyday! HAHA!

When having dinner with my classmate after done my homework. And i like the KLCC view from here. TEEHEE

Playing volleyball with the malau! haha.

I know i am not sweet. lol. This is during orientation week for my stupid a-level junior, haha!

Hectic life going to begin so soon. Be optimistic and be happy! I trust i can do that! :))

So SHIt

2012-01-12T23:11:00.000+08:00

So so so so so so so so so so so so shit!
I get so stressed now! I'm so like shiT!
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

No one knows about you

2012-01-12T21:09:00.000+08:00

There is no reason why i will feel down suddenly. It's not because of anyone else, it is just the feeling. The moment when i feel sad, there is either i will be sitting down and think about the past. Or else, i will laughing like a mad man. There is no reason why am i like this. It's just me. It's not me, if it is not me. I'm not a wonderful girl nor awesome nor pretty nor smart nor adorable nor cute. I'm just something a normal human will do. Definitely, i will happy and feel sad too. Maybe the frequency of sadness is higher than happiness a little bit, just a little bit. I won't deny it, but i have promised myself to change it. This place is the only one i can say to, it is just like talking to my soul. LOL. When you see my blog, you will definitely scold me why am i always emo, is just when i happy i didn't post it. Actually, i always annoyed by myself why am i always thinking like this and like that. I don't want to say it out here, but it really bother me so much. If crying can make myself feel better, i will cry. But, it doesn't help at all, the feeling will come towards me when i'm alone again. AHHHHHHHHHHHH!! It's the stupid level make me feel so down now! I HATE YOU! No worries, i will be happy again maybe tomorrow, the day after tomorrow, the day after this month, lol. Or next year, or next next year. Oh my Bloggie.

:))

2012-01-07T23:06:00.000+08:00

I'm perfectly fine.

I hope everything will be fine

2012-01-05T21:31:00.001+08:00

Maybe i don't deserve anyone at all, or it's my retribution. I hope you understand that. I really cannot pretend nothing happen at all and act normal. Everytime i really being so serious, something bad will happen. I won't say that i really put a lot of my minds and thought in this case, but it does hurt me. I don't know why the first time, the second time and the third time. I thought it's not an act of sudden mind, i thought it's a promise action, but it goes to a sudden came that no need responsibility. A word sorry doesn't cure at all, it just will make the wound worsen. I really don't know how to behave infront of you, sometimes u treat me like a daughter, sometimes a fren, sometimes more than just a fren (or just i'm the one who think like that). I tried to escape from you, but it doesn't work. I tried to behave like i don't care at all, but i can't. It really hurts to tell me to find another one that i deserve better, yea, maybe i deserve to be with a dog rather than a human. It takes my years to forget everything or even worse. I know i shouldn't have write everything here, but i am just trying to confess everything. Maybe you won't see at all.
I trust that the world will not end at 2012. But somehow, now i hope so. I know i shouldn't think like that, just like i don't know how to take care of myself. I really tried hard to be happy. But it is more hurt to wear a mask because u know you aren't happy at all.
I promise, i will try my very best to get back to normal. So do you, and be happy.

Goodbye to 2011 peeps!

2011-12-30T01:51:00.000+08:00

Since you have read the title, yea. That's the ohmmmmm for me to blog now. No matter, who will be the reader Doggy? Piggy? or Daisy? or Noone. 2011 for me is a big change, change to a woman hahaha! Because i have turned to 18! That means i can go to cinema and watch those 18sx and really scary movies.. lol And for sure pub or club. HahahHA. Okay, that's not true who never went to cinema to watch those 18XX movies when you are below 18. ME, for sure if you want to stop me i will sue you. I try before.-.- And don't try again yea xiu mui mui. Is just i can go into cinema to watch any of the movie that i like officially.

I found out that i become SS again. LOL, who cares.

From the beginning of the year, those new school leaver while waiting for the SPM result, for sure will go find a full time job. For me, I plan this for like damn hell long, i like to work as a waitress and dress like very professional ( but instead, it's suck ), or a promoter, or a chef? But i end up arguing with my parents because i have no transport and they are too conservative and too protective to let me go to work. For me, going to work is a very common issue for teenagers, and i am not going to work in a pub i am just working in a japanese restaurant. And they are like worry i will become those pai kia and leave the house. LOL, since i am their daughter, they should trust me. I know that they worry about me but sometimes they should give me some freedom and space, so that i can grow up.However, i'm still the winner. HAHAHA. I work as an assistant teacher in Q-Dees and Part time job as waitress in Kinsahi. Working as an assistant teacher is a very very very damn easy job, but you need alot of PATIENCE. You cannot behave too nice because they will climb up your head and cannot be too rude. If not, you will be the main title in newspaper the next day. Of course, the child are very cute and adorable, they may be clever than you hundred times, maybe they drink alots of enfagrow-.-. Working as a waitress is another good experience. It's a totally different environment and condition compared to work as a teacher. It's more stressful and difficult for sure. Because you need to observe every customer that comes in and greet them with a warm heart so that they will smile at you. HAHa, it depends on yourself, i like to see those customer reply me with thankyou and a great smile. It's the best gift for me to work at there. And this job definitely train my muscle, imagine how heavy is all those plate and bowl ( not those plastics made, is glasses ) and you need to carry with one hand. But it feels so satisfied when you can clean all those plates and bowls within one round and without anyone helps. LOL, it seems like working as a waitress is an easy and enjoyable job, it is, but sometimes it's not. Such like broke those plates, scold by manager ( although i never tried before ) and treat badly by those awful customer. But somehow, it's very nice to recall back and i miss all those staffs and my cute manager. :))

After that, it's my study plan. Actually i planned alot. I plan to study pharmacy at IMU, so it depends on whether i should take MUFY at Sunway or foundation at KBU. You should say that am i crazy, it's so cossy. Yea, for me i also thinking am i crazy, i can never study at there except in my dreams. But now, i am unsure to study pharmacy because if i can't handle my A-level, don't even say pharmacy, maybe a clerk i also cant handle. Lol, but now have a daughter as pharmacy is my dad's dream. God! by the way, i also being attracted to UTAR with the bachelor of physiology. If i have choose this course, i will be at Kampar now. Lol, but now i am staying at Sri Gombak, my second house, studying stupid level. Maybe it's the most stupid choice i have choosen. And i also have dream about to be a chef, be a wedding planner (omg, it's so romantic), be an accountant (but too bad, i didnt take account) or go to work! At least, i no need to face those paper that the scientist think that it's precious thing but for me, it's NOTHING. I really have no idea why i have chose a-level. It's ridiculous. Because after SPM, i swear i will not take either SPM or A-level. Now, i can't regret anymore, i just can continue to study. :(

So, when SPM result is release, i am shocked because my result is too bad and too ugly for me. It just the stupid Mandarin! MANDARIN!! Okay, done, it's over.

Oh yea, before i forget. It's my driving lesson! U know what, i failed my driving test for 2 times! Oh my, I don't know why i will failed for twice! and i have cried twice. Okay, i know, it's embarrassing, why i will failed twice, and both dead at naik bukkit. !@@#$#%%^ ala, i don't care, i have my driving lesson now, there is one more scary driver in Malaysia. haaha. So you better be carefull when you are driving anywhere at M'.

After that, it's the most suffer case i ever had. They said fighting with cancer is a tired and suffocating job. I don't know until it really happen. The first time he had, i'm still a kid and i don't know anything, but now he is fighting with all of us. I admit, at first i don't know what should i respond and what can i do. Now, spending every single time with him. :) Hope he can recover fast.

After entering A-level, i only realize SPM is nothing, it's really nothing! Every week i am enduring with poor heart. I just think that it is so stress. Even now, when i am thinking going back to college again. I am afraid. I don't want to. Every time i thought that i know what is the lecturer talking about but went back home my brain jam again. God, it's more complicated if i don't even know what is the lecturer talking about. Sometimes, i am not stupid, is so so so stupid. I really don't feel like going back. But A-level is not giving all those bad memories, it also gives me alot of friends. Funny friends, good-caring friends, and loving friends. :) And the memories we spend together at Genting Highlands! Shouting like a mad man infront of the people playing the roller coaster even though we are not playing, taking pictures with GH manager =.=. And do all the pranks together, pretending there is obstacle infront, acting sumthing happen in the sky. Oh my god, that's the craziest thing we had.

And the last thing. My birthday! Every year i am celebrating my buffday with secondary school friend. I thought this year you all wont have the time but after i knew the plan, i am really touched, but it never came true, lol. Thanks for the present from my fellow friends. And those who help me celebrate! I Love You Guyz..

Every year is a meaningful year. Because our life is short. Be grateful with what you have, because nothing can be yours forever.Go and get it if you really mean it, because it may disappear suddenly without noticing.

If you don't wanna regret, so go and get what you want now, before the year ends. LOL, i am like stupid people write a very long post that no one will really read it.

I miss both of you so so so much! I miss the time we eat together , and remember 1 time both of us argued, and so cute, that's our first time!

I admit, this year i drink damn alot. But luckily, i didnt get drunk! wee~

Don't complain that i never post SN12B! haha

Oh my mooncake festival!

Thanks for celebrating my damn early buffday! :)

Woo! i know i am heavy!

I failed. The bad mood miss me again.

2011-12-28T23:24:00.000+08:00

I don't know

2011-12-28T00:44:00.000+08:00

I'm just like stupid people keep repeat and do the old stupid things.
How am i going to stop that.
I have no idea. What am i doing now.
I don't know what should i choose. What should i reply. What should i do.
It just. I don't know.
Maybe. I should turn off my laptop and handphone for few days.

99944422266

2011-12-26T21:17:00.000+08:00

喝酒的伴一起看电影的伴
早午晚餐的那个伴
朋友不能留得太晚
明天要上班
唱K的伴一起去旅行的伴
听懂我的笑话的伴
我的生活只差那个人就美满
快乐剩一人分享快乐就只剩一半
喝一碗汤
心怎么都不够暖
这张被单这张睡床
再舒服都觉得太宽
没人分享幸福就只剩一半
就算把日子都填满
节日却提醒我孤单
没有想法有想法又能怎样
只能写部落格整晚
几个留言安慰不了心里的遗憾
没有负担原来也是种负担
自由多得让人心慌
你羡慕我那要不要跟我交换
快乐剩一人分享快乐就只剩一半
喝一碗汤
心怎么都不够暖
这张被单这张睡床
再舒服都觉得太宽
没人分享幸福就只剩一半
努力把日子填满
别来提醒我多孤单
快乐剩一人分享快乐就只剩一半
喝一碗汤
心怎么都不够暖
这张被单这张睡床
再舒服都觉得太宽
没人分享幸福就只剩一半
就算把日子都填满
没人知道我多孤单

'' ''

2011-12-14T12:20:00.000+08:00

Sometimes, i am just being too sentimental or just too emotional. So i will say out things that maybe you will not understand. So forgive me, cause i can't control myself being so sentimental. I don't know why suddenly i got a feeling to touch about the past. It ruining my time with all those tears and my pillow. I'm not blamming anyone of you if you really hurt me, but damn i am here to told you i don't really hate you because all these memories? have made me become more mature. Seriously. I do. I don't really sad instead being happy because i have met this so even next time it really happen again in my life, maybe or for sure i can manage it well. So take a deep breath. Now I am going to say it out. If you are the person involved here and accidentally saw this don't have to feel sorry or sad or happy. I am really fine after all of this. The feeling of seeing him sending a message to your best friend saying goodnight babe I love you. Actually it's really not good at all. Moreover, it's the day just before we were going for a trip. He helps to take her-very-heavy-bag instead mine-is-so-light that i need to carry myself. I don't know what the hell am i thinking that time. So stupid that i still trust anyone of them. Putting care and love and sincere to your best friend instead of you myself, it's really not fine at all, if you really do care about. So, how would you call me to enjoy those moments to have a fun trip at all. I really tried hard to put a smile on my face just like pasting a cellophane tape on my lips. I just can call to my girl to express my feeling and to cry but not to cry infront of them. It's just like sneezing with something stuck in your nose. I really tried hard to put a smile and laugh and smile and laugh. Singing songs at KTV room is just like hurting my eyes to see all those MV and MV and MV and songs and songs and songs, all i can listen is sad songs. So i just fill my times in the toilet and toilet and toilet to avoid torture to my ears and eyes. Even though there is a guy who did care about me but i just can say i am so sorry. I am really OK after all of this, really. Because even now i can still jokes with all of you and go out with all of you. Maybe before that i will still sad when i face you, but now i'm facing you with a great heart, i don't feel any uneasy anymore. Do think about last time, i am really stupid, didn't i? Who never do stupid things before. Even now, maybe i am still taking the old step. Who knows? I'm still finding the one that can make me smile again.

Isn't life is all about this

2011-12-11T17:19:00.003+08:00

Food poisoning is not a good thing for sure. But somehow i got a reason for not to eat anything.

一切都必须付出代价

2011-12-11T12:29:00.001+08:00

其实.呕很辛苦.为什么那些模特儿喜欢挖喉然后又呕.对减肥真的有效吗?如果是的话.我也想.
可是真的很辛苦.所以每件事情都有自己的代价.
最近.不知是我反感了.还是他真的变了.变得不可理喻.
不是我不想一家人吃饭.是我真的不舒服.很想呕.你还说我给脸色.我也很辛苦好吗.
我现在连食欲都没了.又谁来关心我?
天.就是喜欢作弄人
如果...我会毫不犹豫的答应.或许.
但是...

2011-12-09T01:04:00.000+08:00

I feel so down now :((

I Believe

2011-11-30T16:01:00.000+08:00

I have watched one old movie recently. It's about a girl who get cancer and all the troubles she needs to go through. During her chemotherapy, it's a very tough consequence for her, and she give up easily because she think that it is no use, but actually it needs alot of time and effort to go through chemotherapy, it's not that easy. She give up chemotherapy and try many new way to treat her cancer, like great pole and chinese medicine. While her treatment, she lost her hair, vomit while eating and she even eat the food that she had vomit out. This has terrified her sister and her boyfriend. She thinks that she needs to eat all the food even though the food that had vomit out, it's necessary, she don't want to waste the food. And her-boyfriend-that-very-like-her has lost his job because he always go back earlier to cook and take care of her after work and the boss has become annoying about him and he found another job, that's where the place he had met his old girl friend. And the terrified thing happened, he betrayed his girlfriend and you should know what happen next. The girl knew it and she behave bizarre, she will suddenly woke up and starred at his boyfriend and talk with herself. One day, on a stormy night, the girl had disappear and she go and find the another girl that her boyfriend-always-find and she accidentally killed her, but her boyfriend doesn't know she has died. After the girl came back, he still find his old girlfriend-that-has-died. And he even having sex with IT. He is totally lost his mind, he keep stressing himself and he doesn't even know she has died. And when he went back home, everyone stared at him because he smells bad and he even cough worms. Miracle happens, the girl that get cancer, her condition becomes stable and she confessed to him that she has got find the girl-that-he-always-find and she thought she has killed her but actually she does because she knew that the boy always find the dead body that-he-thought-she-is-still-alive. And when he goes back to find the dead body to try to confess everything that they need to stop, he find out she is dead. Everything has revealed, he is having sex with the dead body and kiss with the dead body, this explain why he smells bad and even cough worms. He can't stand for this and he commit suicide. He even said the first time have sex with the-girl-that-has-died not necessarily got love, but continue for the second time, he admit is love with sex. The end is, the girl who has cancer commit suicide too, because she can't afford to lose him.
I don't know why i say the story, but my main point is DO appreciate your love one. DO care about the patient around you, you won't know how pain is the pain, only the one who suffering knows.

The time taking care of patient, learn alot of things. Although some times i really wanna shout out loud, please put more love and caring to him. Please do tolerate with patient because they will be very moody. They suffer more than you do,so show your love to them.
Love my buddy =)

2011-11-30T00:50:00.000+08:00

翻滚翻滚翻滚再翻滚又是不眠的夜晚

For my dear

2011-11-22T00:33:00.000+08:00

Dear friends
I wanted to tell you
I'm not really sad because you all are busy with your assignment and project
The thing that i concerned is have you all live your life good?
Just even short message to say that you are fine is the warmest thing i ever had
For cincin dear, my hp is out of credit
Just to say that, i thought you all are mad because i have reject that day you all come to celebrate my bufday
Recently only knew it from my sister
I am sorry
I will be emo just for awhile and i know that you all are still with me
Whenever i need you you will come for me
I never hesitate or blame any of you
It just sometimes i admit i am to stubborn or emo for stupid things
At least i need some time to make myself happy again
And i would like to say
I miss you so much cincin ~
If you are free, call me up i go fetch you
I am going back klang by car, weee~
I really do miss you all !

You won't know how shit am i

2011-11-21T12:34:00.000+08:00

So stupid that i can't even drive back!
I really ashamed of you!
haih
You won't know how sad am i now
I feel like i can't do anything right
And always make many troublesome to the others
If i do, sorry =(
I didnt mean to
Or you can just ignore me
It's okay
Or i should say
I have used to it already
Have i done anything wrong =(
Please tell me

Now everything i do, first thing that come to my mind is my family
Study - my family
Driving - my family
Sleeping - my family
Homework - my family
Working - my family
So on and on
Is it a good thing?

I don't know whether i am living for my self or for my family
I just know i need to keep my breath till the world end no matter what happens

Arggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

2011-11-16T21:31:00.000+08:00

Argggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Someone out there

Help me pleaseeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

I am so bored

If u are not blind, you should know i am so bored here

Not there

Is here

Is hereeeeeeeee

I am dying because of boredom

OMG

If i am out there, maybe i will drink XXXX to solve my problem

Gosh

I need someone to slap me

Shit you!

I am so bored

Arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

WTH

That's what i do to fill my time( old time )

Okay, what's now

Telling you

I'm not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not bored at all

So, is bored or not

Let figure it out

There got 16 not there

That's mean 16 -ve there

Hmm, that's mean ne ne po, so the final answer is po

That's mean i am bored

Okay

So someone

Anyone

If i mean anyone, that's mean really anyone

Although you are shitting or talking or picking nose or blamming

Or whatever

If you saw this post

Whatever you can do please entertain me

Use whatever method

I can give you whatever you want

Seriously

I never feel so bored

okay, whoelse will watch hannah montana when she/he is bored

Me! =.=

i know

there got a lot of rumor spread about miley cyrus

But it can't affect my love towards her

i just like the way she act

teehee

And i prefer miley than hannah so much

So what should i do now

Continue to dreaming

T.T

please la

help me

Please

please

....

...

.............................

...

.............

......

........

bye

Maybe i should STOP

2011-11-14T23:21:00.000+08:00

Exam have finished about years ago, and i have rest till now

I can't even read or do any homework because i really feel bored of YOU

Sometimes i really do hate myself, study alot and didnt even sleep and get those shit result

I am ashamed of you

But luckily, i am enough to get 60.++ to maintain my scholarship

If not, i will jump down from KLCC

Honestly said, i am not happy and not satisfied with my result

Instead i feel embarrassing and down

And i really can't cheer up during the class trip

Sometimes i really hope that i can run away from the class and disappear in this world

So i won't have any worries anymore

Anyone? Kill me please

Because i am NOTHING

Nothing died nothing will happened

唸你

2011-11-14T21:52:00.000+08:00

HAHA

This song might be silly for the others, but i think it is so cute!

Post

2011-11-11T22:56:00.000+08:00

I tell you what i want to tell you
That's why i am here
Going to tell you what should i tell you
Oh no
You are not listening
You are seeing
Oh my Goodness
Are you still alive
Okay, since you want me to write new blog
I am going to write now
What i want to tell you is
What am i going to write now
What sentences you are going to see now is
What are you going to know what am i going to tell you
Okay, so WTH
That's all for the new post
Teehee
Dun hell me
Please=(
I'm not going to tell you what had happened recently
Cause that's nothing much
Okay, that's all
Buayeeeee~

I AM LUCKY

2011-11-07T22:31:00.001+08:00

为什么那些人总是想尽办法来劝病人吃药
我现在终于明白了
因为家里多了一位又可爱又顽皮的病人
总跟我讨价还价要延迟吃药
想当病人医生
有时候真的很懊恼
小时候我都要求要抱抱
可是现在我连扶他的力气都没有
那天去医院探望他的时候
看到他安然无恙我真的很欣慰
只是身子太虚弱走路也需要人扶
他说这就是：生老病死，这一刻我的心软了

Hmm, the one who always support the family and always be strong is my mum
Sumtimes she is really annoying cause always scold us without any reason
I hate that, but i always know that she is too tired for supporting this family
She is the one who will always comfort me when i am sad
Just now, i am celebrating my birthday with my parents
It's not the first time and i hope it won't be the last time
The moment my dad singing the Birthday+Amitabbha song,it's kinda awkward
But i just can't control and my tears drop again
And i hugged my mum
I know mum is super tired and exhausted for being so tough for so long
I hope that she really can have a rest, but i have disappointed her for being so unhelpful
I really wish that i can have two pairs of hand, two pairs of leg, so that i can help her
Flashback the time my mum and dad always argued infront of us, and have tried to talk with us that they will divorce, that moment is really a nightmare to me
Even now, i still can remember how scary is that
Even though, now they still will argued, it's because of my dad that act like small kid
Hah, that's the way my father act
Sumtimes he act like really true make us feel 'LOL'
When i am leaving, he even give me a kiss goodbye! Haha
That's how close we are =)
I'm lucky to be ur daughter!

I wish it will come true

2011-11-03T16:05:00.000+08:00

Sometimes, i really feel that i am so stupid

I will not appreciate and accept those things that come itself infront of me

Instead i will search for those stuff that it can't be mine

Even though i knew it, but i still hope for it

And make myself desperate and creates alot of scratches

Yea, i like rain especially when my mood is down

It's because you wont saw my tears under the rain

But i do have one wish, i would like to try to play basketball in the midnight and it's raining

Isn't romantic, LOL

2011-10-31T22:47:00.002+08:00

What's the meaning of life if i continue like this

:(

2011-10-28T23:45:00.000+08:00

The most mean thing that i have done is
Although it will hurt me instead
I still choose to search for the short happiness
Though, it is not deserve at all

Since the day i have been cheated
Even though i knew that there will be the second times
However, i still believe that sometimes it may not true
Sometimes, someone still will be truthful to me

Everytime i tried to believe and i do believe
It's another obstruct to me
I can't really bear about
I really hope that i will be the life machine
Don't really have to feel what i no need to feel

I really cannot accept it anymore
Don't ever try to get close to me and abandoned me that way
Can? i really bored of that
I need some rest
I need to be loved, not to be fooled

I'm sorry that i can't help anything

2011-10-22T12:59:00.000+08:00

Can anyone please tell me what should i do
So many things happen that i don't even know
After come back only realize alot of things happen they didn't tell me
I just feel like i'm so useless that i can't do anything
I'm the one who always make my family worry about
And now, i don't know what should i do
The condition become more serious
If i really failed that mission, i will withdraw the A i'm taking
I'm serious i don't want to make myself to be their burden
I love you, DADDY
I really do

My daddy really handsome right, but now he become so thin
I'm sorry that i always make you sad and angry
I LOVE YOU

=(

2011-10-20T21:06:00.001+08:00

There is nothing to say about
I miss my father and my family
I am stress because of the exam coming up
I feel that i am very bad because of you
Because of YOU

Because I'm your daughter

2011-10-02T00:31:00.000+08:00

Even though my dad didn't drop one tear
Why should i
I suppose to be stronger than my father, because i am his daughter!
Yes, i know and i should brighten up his life
That's my job =D
And now my job is
Forget about him and concentrate on my studies
Don't even open computer, this will definitely drag me to hell, so ciao peeps that-i-love-so-much
Be happy and contented to your life even what shit happened
And appreciate all of the stuffs and peeps that around me
It's good to have life here with all of you
Miracles do happen
And trust myself
It will be another good good day!
Just me, 110 here.
ciao~

=]

2011-10-01T11:27:00.001+08:00

Okay, it's enough for crying 1 whole day, it's embarrassing
I know this month i have blogged alot, it's because of my mood swing
I admit, i am really an emo person
After all of this sort of things happen, i trust that i will become more tough and stronger
Lol, it's really silly when i think that i write all of this stuff to NOPERSON, cause nobody knows my blog
OMG, it's really looks like give ghost to see
However, who-really-read-through my blog, i will give you a big hug, come and claim it for me, lol (who wants it =.=)
Maybe it's been a long time i didn't feel any secure so i always say many shit things here
I promise myself i will do my really really best for my exam, not for my parents, and not for you, it's for myself
Later will going to meet my another dear peep that very long time no see
Show ANYBODY here that reading my blog now
Here are some pics of pig

I''m so sorry

2011-09-30T18:58:00.001+08:00

I'm so sorry
I always done all the stuff without thinking twice
And make you all feel guilty, it's my fault, it's really my fault
Now only realize that my eyes are the source of water
I'm really tired after all of this fights
I feel like i am a human without spirit
Just ignore me, that's what you all have always done to me

=[

2011-09-29T22:49:00.000+08:00

There is no other word to describe me, except CHUN CHOI
Why am i so stubborn
Why am i so stupid
Why am i always think so much
Why am i always be the loser
Why am i always so annoyed
I just don't know why
Why am i always like this
I hate myself
I really born to hate myself
I feel like my life is so SHIT
I know you must be feeling why am i always so emo
I just can tell you, that's me
If you can change me, i will do anything you want
But you can't, so forget about it
I feel like screwing myself
Tears my body into pieces
Punch myself hardly
Cut myself
Hit myself
And no one can really stop me
I am just too annoyed i know
You don't really have to care about me
Because i didn't deserve it

If there is an IF

2011-09-26T00:00:00.000+08:00

If i would know you will treat me like this, i shouldn't have been so close with you
If i would know this test will totally screw me out, i shouldn't have take A-level
If i would know I will be so worry about my parents, i shouldn't have stay outside here
If i would know I will fall on you, i shouldn't have know you since that day
If i would know I want the feeling again, i shouldn't have asked you
If i would know I can't take all these subjects, i shouldn't have take science
If i would know I can't handle these, i shouldn't have choose study
If i would know I will be so alone here, i shouldn't be so quite
If i would know I will take science, i shouldn't be so hardworking on that particular exam
If i would know this blogging will makes me more sad, i shouldn't be writing this
If i would know I have been crying now, i will force myself to sleep now
If i would know my father will meets the cancer again, i should appreciate the time we spend together
If i would know all these things will happen, i shouldn't be here anymore
I should have go and done my stuff now, but i still can't turn my mind into work
It is so mean for me
I am so stupid !

You should watch this =] a beautiful sad tale

2011-09-25T22:37:00.002+08:00

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
WTF WTF WTF WTF
FML FML FML FML
WHAT SHOULD I DOOOOOO
I AM AT DILEMMA NOW
SHOULD I?
SHOULDN'T I?
I START TO FEEL SO ANNOYED NOW

CHUN CHOI

2011-09-23T22:07:00.001+08:00

有时候不是不懂，只是不想懂
有时候不是不知道，只是不想说出来
有时候不是不明白，而是明白了也不知道该怎么做，于是就保持了沉默
有时候不想一错再错, 所以继续封闭自己
有时候不经意地想到天翻地覆, 只为了那一刹那
有时候就算发了毒誓,还是会犯错
有时候我就是这么犯奸

i am Invisible

2011-09-20T20:27:00.000+08:00

It should End now =]

2011-09-18T11:38:00.001+08:00

I won't think anyelse anymore =]

I will just concentrate on my studies, family and friends =]

And no more unhappy or desperate =]

I will try my best to be the best of ME =]

And no worries =]

And no more tears =] for you

This is the best thing i could do for you =]

Chillax and be confident! =]

be back soon =]

Yor

2011-09-16T13:24:00.000+08:00

I want to SOL now
Do you know what is sol?
It's SHOUT OUT LOUD
Argh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I want to say
i hate YOU so much!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Again i am sick

2011-09-14T17:22:00.001+08:00

Okay, i admit it
I am so moody this few days
I felt so sick of thinking this and that
And i felt that i am really annoying that's why i don't want to talk
Because i don't feel that i deserved to have friend
I am supposed to be alone
Okay, WTH
Just ignore it
I am really pissed off now

I enjoyed so much walking down the rain that day
That's the moment i feel that i am alive
I will come back soon after i have recover from the moody feeling
Soon soon
And i prayed hard

I just don't want to show anybodyelse

2011-09-12T22:56:00.000+08:00

Have i done anything wrong?
I done nothing instead as a good friend, i have done my best part
Or i done something over ?
Can someone please tell me what should i do
But i think you also don't know what do i mean right
I just think that i am like annoying person annoyed someone else
I promise myself, i won't do anything more than just a FRIEND
Just that
Just that
So don't ask me or wondering why i would act like that
Because i'm just a friend
It does hurt me
And i wont make it repeat to let myself sad
I will promise myself to give the best for me

T.T

2011-09-09T23:10:00.001+08:00

All of the effort turn to zero
And the most hurting
Is when my mum ask me
Why my mark so low
Is it that hard
No, actually it's not hard
Juz that i m too STUPID to answer those question
Dun ask me why
Because of my stupid brain loooooo

no use 1
no use 1
all of the effort oso no use
bcuz of u this si chun choi!

Everyone is sick

2011-09-06T20:38:00.001+08:00

Everyone is sick

Because of studies

Because of works

Because of money

All around me is just $,$,$

And all i think of in my mind

Also about money$$$

Okay, who doesn't want money

Okay i want money because of my studies

So that i will have a good employment in the future

So return to the basis, it's all about MONEY

I already have think of it from the 1st day, and that time is really approaching

And i will cried infront of my parents then they will hand in the money to me for my sucking a-level programme

Hah, i have thought of that already and it is soon soon to me

So but somehow

You also need to enjoy your life without money

So if you think any of the activity without money

It is will be the impossible

So just chillax

Because you will find out another route to your happiness

But then for you

My dear cincin =] ( if you saw this post, don't feel regret for turn on your pc and go to the fb and go to my blog, and saw my post ) JUST WANT TO SAY GAMBATEH! muaxx

Am i ok?

2011-09-05T15:12:00.000+08:00

After the exam i felt exhausted, everyday before exam will spent 4 hours to sleep

I know it isn't a good habit, but it is considered good than the time i had my SPM exam, aiks

And now i felt so wrong

Because my stomach still pain

And i feel like so dizzy and headache

Summore eat maggie mee

I want to sleep but i can't

Why everything doesn't go right

I thought i have enough time to do my homeworks, but i didn't do at all

I thought i can revise some of the subject, and it prove that it is impossible

And summore i go and watch a suspense movie makes me feel more dizzy and suffering

I feel like it is useless to have life and it is unuseful to live the life

WTH

I doesn't enjoy my life at all, why am i like that

I feel like i am abnormal

Mooncake festival is coming and i want to celebrate with my friend, can i?

It won't realise because everytime i say i want to, it will be the opposite

Okay then why am i saying here

Because i hope SOMEBODY that have see this post have some action

LOL, ok la i know it is impossible because all of you will dating with your boy/girlfren or family or your pets

Why am i sighing here, zzzz

I don't know why i am just like an aunty murmuring here

Ish, what am i doing here

Did i tell you i not yet eat my medicine

What medicine har, ya it is antidepressant

Hahaha, i am just joking la

LOL, because my aunt keep worried that i will study till sot

Hahahaha

Okay, not funny at all

2011-09-04T21:49:00.000+08:00

I feel like going to punch my stomach so that it won't pain anymore, stupid stomach!

OMG

2011-09-03T16:47:00.000+08:00

I feel that i am really amazing because i didn't study my MS and go out .

WTH

Okay la, the main point is i drive using manual car, haha

U know what without any practice since March leh

Hhaaha

And without practice d consequence is bang!

Ok la, just a small crash

Teehee!

Times to squeeze my brain, Really OMG

Letter to myself

2011-09-03T09:03:00.000+08:00

Live a better life without any regrets , just go ahead and don't ever look back!
Treat yourself better and feel the rhythm of life!

Do you think u can do that? It makes me feel suffer and suffering, please help me i'm just covering myself don't let people know what i felt, because i scared all of you have become bored of that, i'm really tried hard to be happy, i really tried hard. I have been cover myself with the chill mask.

10 things about me

2011-08-31T00:21:00.000+08:00

Since everyone doesn't know me well

I will tell you about the ten things

10 things that i scare:

Alone
Quarrel between my parents
Nightmare
Darkness
No friend
Ghost
Being chase by dog
Failed my test
Being cheated
Isolated

Actually, i am a very sentimental person, i can be very happy and excited for few minutes and become sad in turn in few seconds, isn't funny, lol

A lot of my friends said that i am a heart breaker, but actually i have being hurt a lot instead

I am easily to being drawn in a relationship but hard to get out of that

I don't know why i got a thinking since secondary school that my friends can have boyfriend easily but not me, lol

But now, i didn't think much of that

I am that kind of person that scared to be alone

I have one period i am like being isolated, although my friend doesn't ignore me but i'm juz like having depression, doesn't talk with them and not even communicate, i just don't know why

I hate that kind of feeling, it's suffocating.

Just like going to a new college, i need alot of time for me to adapt it

I hate to be cheated because i think that any relationship is based on TRUST

That's why i always train myself to be optimistic

And i am trying anyway

Here are some photos with the sistas recently, miss you all

The truth is i really need someone that really will care about me, that really will understand me, and loves me

Hope you to be stronger father!

Ciao~

最好的我=)

2011-08-29T19:47:00.000+08:00

Be strong!

2011-08-28T00:28:00.000+08:00

人越是脆弱就越容易击倒
我必须比任何人更坚强
因为有一个人时时刻刻都需要我
在我心中
从来没有软弱过
偶尔大男人主义
偶尔耍脾气
偶尔像个大妈妈
偶尔严厉
的你
有些人有了自己生存的目标但没有机会实现
有些人有很多实现的机会但选择放弃
何必
我不知道我的选择对或错但我想珍惜身边的一切

病情好像恶化了
还是我想多了
有些事情别想得好
想多了拿来烦
我也只想好好的陪你

Exam is really ruining me
I will know my own standard after the one week holiday
Whether i am dead or alive
But before that i want to enjoy my holiday!
Eat, sleep, eat sleep, eat sleep will only be my activities
Yeah, so u will saw a fat girl appear after holiday
So, it's my time to sleep now
Ciao

Everythings gone

2011-08-25T20:32:00.000+08:00

I doesn't feel better but even worse

I wanna show you my determination

I got a feeling want to die

I know it's an action of coward

WTH

Everyone here is so hardworking and damn smart

BUT not me

I have done a very silly thing

I am driving sambil crying

Gosh, i doesn't know how to control my feeling

And i don't know can tell who

It's really embarrassing when the others had gone to their own world

But i remain stationary

I have promised my parents to stay strong

Is it that way i am gonna to be

!!#@@$#^%&%^*%$^#$#$!$%

I realize that i am really a horrible terrible person

Feel like going to speed my car so that i can reach my destination

Seriously

2011-08-22T21:05:00.000+08:00

no one really care about me

I won't type anything

2011-08-21T18:54:00.000+08:00

i won't type anything

ANYTHING

Ok, i'm sick of studying because of exam

Just +U

Be brave to face ur upps and downsss

Don't blame anyone or anything

Go!

Leave me alone

2011-08-08T22:48:00.000+08:00

Just feel want to express my feeling

I'm not crazy fellow but a sentimental person

I don't know why but just can't make myself cheer up

As i go up and down, my mood also swing left and right

Everyone is preparing their exam, i'm not

I don't really want to

Feel so useless now

I just don't know why

Feel wanna wrap myself inside a box

And cry alone

Gosh, what am i thinking now

I DON'T KNOW

Short / Long update

2011-08-08T00:15:00.000+08:00

Today is a boring day

And i have met up with primary buddies

Actually i just can recognize their face and not really their name

Some i even never seen their face before, seriously i'm not having Alzheimer's disease

But i really can't remember

And i totally shocked when one of the buddy said that i'm the one who always interrupt the teacher conducting his teaching because i want to go toilet, i really can't remember =.=

And i'm so quiet and kind of soft girl at primary school kay, haha!

Even now still the same, i think so, haha

And i know i didn't change alot, but somehow a fellow can't recognize me when we coincidentally saw each other at college

And his expression just like do i know you, blush blush i'm totally embarrassing

I know my parents actually are very worried about my study and scared that i'm stress till explode

But i know i will be strong though

Ishhh, exam is approaching and i'm like do nothing when reach home, just staring at the ceiling and do nothing at all

Seriously, i know i should studying instead of watching tv, watching craps but my heart just don't let me do it

I know, that's an excuse, but somehow i always burn the midnight oil while exam is approaching

Maybe it's my turn to have two very big and circular BLACK eye bags!

Every people will have their own difficulties or obstacle going through

And i will be a stronger woman, omg

Just like how am i facing SPM!

It may not be a best choice, but it's a better choice for me now

And i don't want to let my parents be worry

Okay, i admit that i worried before that i can't get a partner maybe for a whole life

I know, it sounds funny

And it sounds silly too

LOL

WTH, when the feeling going right, it will make ur life easier

And now, i just wanna put all my concentration on this stupid level =.=

My feeling towards you never end before but it's fading

So that's mean time can heel all my scars you have done to me

I admit, i cried alot because of you

I admit, i am stupid enough to fall for you although i know you are cheating me whole year

I admit, i still feeling wanna hate you

but i can't anymore

Because you won't even look or care about me

It's just me who are so so so stubborn who think something out of the box

I know, i know all of this but i just can't control it

It needs alot of time to recover

It's still hurt everytime i remember that i accidentally saw that message

If i never saw that message

Will it be fine until now

Arghh, my eyes going to close now

And i haven't start my revision

Shit, i am going to fail my test soon soon

And recently addict to acer's webcam lol


The normal one, the nerd one, and the crazy one, lol

CIAO

I'm off to bed now

What shoud i do?

2011-07-31T12:31:00.000+08:00

Two months of suffering is enough for me, don't torture me some more for one year and four months.

For me 1 week is like 1 year

1 day is like 1 week

1 hour is like 1 day

1 min is like 1 hour

1 sec is like 1 min

In a nutshell, my life is suffering

FML, WTH am i talking about

Just tell me should i continue my A-level

Arghh, A-level totally is ''A'' level, what the crap am i talking now

See, it makes me act like abnormal now

Right? Say yes

=.=

I'm not intelligent enough to study science, right

I'm not smart enough to take risk on A-level right

Say yes

=.=

Conclusion: I will not continue my A-level anymore

okay, i'm just joking

My Superman

2011-07-25T21:48:00.000+08:00

Suddenly only realize that it's such a long time i didn't capture with my father, since primary?

I assure that my father is very strong and is capable to fight against all those stubborn cancer cells

Somehow i don't know whether it's because my father don't want my mother to worry about him

He tells her, he is feeling well recently

I know, you will be strong

It's kind of embarrassed because i'm not daring enough to ask him by myself

All of my friends who know me well, sure know i am kinda friend with my father compared to the other daughters

I am trying hard to show my best expression to him and not showing him my black face

I am really excited to see you every week i come back

It's my pleasure to have you as my superman

The man who will take care me

The man who always protect me

The man who loves me so much

The man who is so handsome!

When you have go through all those obstacles, you will think that actually it's quite easy to overcome just like UPSR, PMR, SPM

Right now i am really feel like it's just too easy to score =.= compared to A-level

I admit it, actually i am a very lazy person

But somehow, when you become more lazy, there is more work to be done

Just like when you think that it's really tough, that means it never be easy once

What the, am I talking too much craps

Just want to say that I will try my super bestiee best of my effort to go through you, you, you ans especially YOU!

Oh dear, thanks so much for your appearance in my life, you brighten up my life


Become an indian girl for few weeks ady T.T

It's not a beautiful life though

2011-07-09T16:18:00.000+08:00

I have been so regret to come back here if i know the story of my life continue by this way

It's all about my imaginary to live the life i wanted to

But i only want a simple life with blissful family

Is it so difficult?But it always turn out to be the opposite

Is it better for u to make all around us to be unhappy after you have throw all your temper to us

Don't ever fall into the past please, it's over now

I don't know why it just a small thing but it seems like a very serious case

Sometimes it's not our fault if we have choose to commit suicide if the parents act like that to us

I really don't care how others people going to judge me

It's me all about me

Big Time Rush feat Snoop Dogg Boyfriend MUSIC VIDEO

2011-06-22T21:32:00.000+08:00

FML square even triple

2011-06-22T21:21:00.001+08:00

Some sentimental thinking come towards my mind again

What's wrong with me

Arghhhhhhhhhh

I'm just like doing nothing than NOTHING

Life is a tough question towards me, when i am trying so hard to over this and a big problem come towards me

Please god, i don't want to be failure

Father please be strong, I LOVE YOU

Although i';m not always be with you

You are the most cute and responsible father, you are a superman for me

Although sometimes i really feel annoying when you are scolding me, but then i know your effort

Shhhhoooo, you this bad cancer cells! Go away from my father!

Feel so lonely here, i am like a nonsense in tarc

I tried hard to adapt the living style hard, i really tried hard!

That's the way i used to waste my time

I can't resist science anymore

You are so attractive but you are so hard to get

I think i wont take pharmacy for my own good

I don't want torture myself for memorize all those things

I don't know why i still have the feeling towards you

You are nothing but attracting

I don't know why i am so silly, although everyone will said that i am stupid

That's why how love make people blind

Before i have no time on blogging start from next week, i have wasted alot of time at here

Still have alot of hm waiting for me

Damn, fml

And before i forget i miss 5A so so so much!

And i miss you so much

So... Just

2011-06-06T22:34:00.001+08:00

I am fine, really

明明知道bb是掰，还纯真的以为是babe

when a person come to love, they cant differentiate between true and fake

how love make then to be silly

If there was a miracle

2011-05-30T00:21:00.000+08:00

Please forgive me for what i have done

I know it isn't a good thing for me to think about

I know it is a violent thing towards me but i still believe it isn't true

If there is a will there is a way

If there is a believe there is a truth

I choose to believe the person that i wish to believe

Because TRUST is the most important thing

I pretend to forget everything you have done to me

I pretend to be a optimistic person

I pretend to be busy

So that you won't think that i'm still obsessed

Life has to go on and i know

Somehow, sometimes, someday, i will not think of you

Maybe it will takes my 1 day? 1 week? 1 month or 1 year?

Go through the times, go through the life

It will turns out something you may not expected

Just like i didn't expect my education pathway continue to TARC

But when you are in the way that you didn't wish to

Life still need to carry on

So add oil together!

WHAT

2011-05-24T18:09:00.002+08:00

I AM SERIUS NOW

I AM SO HUNGRY

HecTic LiFe

2011-05-14T23:51:00.000+08:00

I felt so so so tired

From the first day i entered the college, i start to feel regret

Do i really choose the correct pathway

Are you really want to be a pharmacist?

I keep thinking, thinking, and think

Start to feel that i'm not that smart person to take risk on pharmacy course

I don't know, maybe it's because of working time long makes me feel that study is a part of hardest activity for me

A-Level is something like STPM not much different for me

I just scare that i can't get 6o marks for my first examination, oh god

I don't want to waste my mum's money

If i can't get a good result i will blame myself forever

Please help me by your hand

I really sick of this now although i acting very strong now but i really needs somebody to comfort me

Thanks mum although i always disobey you, but i always love you

Father please be strong i wish to see you everyday

I know at the family i'm just like a girl that always make troubles and doesn't obedient and just like a children

Oh ah please

Give me strength to live on

PLEASEEE

2011-04-20T23:21:00.000+08:00

Can u stop torturing yourself

Can u stop saying that you are useless

Can u stop thinking all the crap and nonsense

Can u stop being that rude to everyone

Can u be nice to yourself

Stop thinking all the craps and make yourself feels like a stupid and take everyone as the victim

I just can't control myself to being a sentimental person

I can be totally happy , and can be sad for just in a turn of 1 second

Please, i am exhausted

Lifeless

2011-04-14T23:01:00.001+08:00

Do you know what is the definition of life

Is it to be very rich

Or to be very glamourous

Or to be at high status

Or to be someone that can do whatever they want

As a small girl that haven't experience this complicated and reality society

Wondering about how is this galaxy working

Is there true to have an angel that always being side

Is the FAIR exist

For someone that study hard for whole life, maybe they get NOTHING

For someone that is genius, they can easily to do work and exams for sacrifice NOTHING

Is this call FAIR?

Or if i have 5 candies and give to a small cute girl without giving to others, this is call unfair!

Lol, i am just murmuring, because i know that someone may replied that, is genius they also need to be hardworking or they will be failed?

Okay, lets talk about my interview

Actually the last night of my interview, i have prepare for the draft of self-introduction for malay and english.

And after i wrote it i fall asleep ady, cause i am so damn tired

I can't imagine i am so tired since when i am taking my SPM exam, everyday almost didn't sleep for whole night

Like nodding my head and open my eyes and continue study and then.. ( u know what should happen next )

But nowadays i think i have become a lazy pig, everyday play pc and eat and sleep, meaningless

And all the books i have read all forget already

Okay, it's too much for this all crap

And that day , i told my father that can i don't go

And I am so stupid that i tell him can i stomachache

Seriously, it should be acting very pain and scowl and pressing my stomach saying that my stomach very pain

lol

By the way, it is not succesful

and i have to head to the UiTM by myself, since my father have to go parking, but why me alone

Seeing all parents accompany their child go inside

lol, i should be independent, and not complaining

After i have go to register, i keep smiling to all the people there cause i don't know whether is there got a spy that watching for the applicant do we do something wrong

And i have met 1 girl that also a chinese, and i am so excited, but she don't know to speak mandarin=.=

They are english educated.

When 5 of us go in to interview, the 3 interviewer ask us to introduce ourself

Oh gosh, they are so good in speaking english and malay

When till the turn i am

A: Which country do you wish to go?

10: E.E..England

B: Which university do you interested?

10: University of strathclyde

B: In which country?

10: Er, England

B: Strathclyde is at Scotland do you know

10: ... .... I. .I don't know

B : That's mean we send you to which country also can?

And i am just smiling to them

( WTH )

If you really give the opportunity to give me this scholarship, i really will go to which country if you send me to

And during the group discussion, i am just like hear then talk rather then i speak, lol

Anyway, it's a very good experience for me

I didn't expect i can get this scholarship, by the way i appreciate it give me this chance to me to interview!

STOP

2011-04-06T23:26:00.002+08:00

It's a damn cold night

Is anyone trying to find me

Can someone take me by the hand

Take me somewhere new

I don't know who you are

But I.. I'm with you

I have to accept this fate

Don't have anyone beside me

Made the decision alone

About everything

About everyone

I have no idea

I have to made this serious decision

At each corner

I don't know whether i should cry or not

The most fearful thing happened again

Please be kind

Please be obedient

Please be careful

If you really care about the person you love

Please STOP smoking

I'm begging you

It's not joking

It's not funny at all

You will regret for each cigarette you take

It will murder you

Please

Can someone talks to me

Saying that everything will be okay

Can someone hold my hand

Saying that he will be fine

Can someone comfort me

Saying that will accompany me

Sometimes

We just have to follow the fate

Not to deny it

Just have to admit it

Mostly when you are in troublesome

No money

No friend

No time

This world is reality

No money

No need to talk

Suddenly i think of him
Last time

When every time Mr. Trouble comes to me

He will help me to solve him

But now

I don't know i can find who

I don't want to be tough anymore

I am a weak girl that can't endure hardship

I am damn weak

So don't hurt me anymore

I can't bear it

After working at Kinsahi for 3 months

I fall in love with it

I don't know why

But i love the way it is

Maybe i should work at there although i have study

But maybe they wont welcome me?

This is the picture i want to show you, HUI HUE YEOW

Look at the short hair i have, ugly >.<

Now only i realized that i drank grape juice that day

无耻

2011-03-25T11:44:00.000+08:00

我就是那么的无耻
有了两次机会
还要第三次
从来都没这么失败
如果有那'第四次'
我会崩溃的
我已经厌倦了
不想再哭了
不想以泪洗脸
不想再花无谓的钱
难道我真的不能吗
我已一次又一次地把脸撕开
若不结束
就要见骨了

吃醋?

2011-03-20T00:24:00.001+08:00

Do we have the rights to 吃醋?

Lol, i don't think so

Long time never had this kind of feeling

Feel like very sour, bitter

I really scared

Because

Maybe

they will forgotten me

they will abandon me

Why?

No why

Sigh

the fact is... ...

I dun have the right to talk all this because

I'm still a training waitress

Whose Birthday?

2011-03-18T22:06:00.000+08:00

I like this pic so much, the effect, but it's blur. =c

Camwhore all the day, teehee!

like! =)

Everytime i saw this pic, i laugh my ass off, haha! so cute!

Happy Birthday girl!


The 2 guys

Not much to say, just hope that every year of 17 March, i won't lost your contact, and at least i can send a birthday wish to you, even though just a wish

No one will predict what will happen next

I don't know whether the way i live now is wasting or whatever

I'm glad that we didn't argue, and keep contact

Somehow, many things will change after you, you, you and you go work or study at university college

The way we met, the way we smile, the way we chit chat, it's still vivid in my mind

Arh..

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

I am a fool

2011-03-17T09:43:00.000+08:00

I don't know, should i think like this?

当一个人归回原始，总是一个人

I don't know, just really wish that someone can accompany me anytime

就算是开心，绝望，还是无聊

But i think till the moment i grew until 21, i can't even meet one

我知道不应这么想，但这是事实

When i'm really helpless

没有人在身旁

I feel so useless and lonely

没有人了解我

When there are people around me, i always pretend that I am fine, I am strong

当人群驱散，寂寞孤独全涌出来

Somebody help me please, i'm stuck!

Scorpion's

2011-03-02T21:52:00.000+08:00

1、真正的天蝎座女生

------会在无法忘记一个人的时候，

把他放在心里那个小小的角落，

她会在没有的时候，

静静的想他

2、真正的天蝎座女生

------她会在受了伤之后，跑的远远的，

离开另她伤心的地方，

自己慢慢舔受伤的心

3、真正的天蝎座女生

------总是在无聊寂寞的时候听着伤感的歌唱，

想像着分离的场面，

自己偷偷的落泪

4、真正的天蝎座女生

------当她说不爱你了的时候，

不是她不爱你了，只是她累了，

或者、她想放弃了

5、真正的天蝎座女生

------总是一个人待在小小的角落，

静静的，静静的、享受着只属于自己的孤单

6、真正的天蝎座女生

------她会对你说不再乎，其实她再乎的要命，

只是她不想让你知道，怕给你添麻烦

7、真正的天蝎座女生

------她在受到伤害以后，

会把自己的心锁的更紧，因为她怕再受到伤害

8、真正的天蝎座女生

------在受到伤害以后，

她会在朋友面前表现的很坚强，

但她总是在没人的时候，悄悄的掉眼泪

9、真正的天蝎座女生

------她会受到伤害以后，

赶走所有关心她的人，因为她不想让所有关心她的人为她难过

10、真正的天蝎座女生

------她会在你幸福，快乐的时候、

不再出现在你的面前，她不想让她影响到你

11、真正的天蝎座女生

------蝎子总会半夜听着悲伤的音乐，

望着天空发呆、独自叹气落泪

12、真正的天蝎座女生

------总是用快乐的笑容来掩饰内心的脆弱

13、真正的天蝎座女生

------知道什么时候离开，

至于心中留下什么、已是不想触碰的寂寞

14、真正的天蝎座女生

------喜欢独自一个人待在没人的地方，想享受她们自己的寂寞

15、真正的天蝎座女生

------她总是不按常理出招，并不是她怪，

只是她不想让别人了解她

16、真正的天蝎座女生

------总是隐藏自己的内心世界、她不会告诉任何人，

有关她的事、她不想被别人看透

17、真正的天蝎座女生

------她会做一些古怪的事，有时候她自己都不知道为什么她会这样

18、真正的天蝎座女生

------看着伤感的文章，听着忧伤的歌曲、

虽然看了后会微微浮现一丝笑容，

但看完后、一丝冰冷的泪却流过她冷漠的脸颊,因为她孤单了

19、真正的天蝎座女生

------她会在你伤心难过的时候，

义无返顾的回到你的身边、哪怕只能在你身边听听哭泣，

她也会很快乐

20、真正的天蝎座女生

------她不会让任何她认为重要的人伤心，

她会让他们快乐，

哪怕自己的笑是装出来的，也要让他们快乐

21、真正的天蝎座女生

------她在爱上一个不爱自己的人的时候，

她会默默的、默默的为你付出，

她知道她这样做是没有任何回报的，

但她只为了让你快乐

22、真正的天蝎座女生

------她很少出现在热闹的场合，

即使出现、她也会静静地，

一个人待在角落里、沉静在她的世界里，想她的故事

23、真正的天蝎座女生

------她最怕孤单，

当她孤单的时候好想找个人陪她说说话，

可是又不想打扰到别人，只好自己一个人静静的坐着

天蝎对待感情，的确很极端，但至少他们不滥情，还可以获得一个专情的称谓。

因为拒绝总是那么肯定，让你找不到扭转局势的理由，而一旦动心，又是欲罢不能，如果不爱，就只会剩下恨，没有朋友这一条。

所以，爱上天蝎，一旦确定关系，就会很幸福，因为他们会把握感情的主动性。

I don't know whether it's 100% true or not

But i just know that it's mostly covered what i have felt

Is It?

2011-03-02T15:32:00.000+08:00

Ever since last time i cried when break time

That's is the most horrible terrible time i had ever

Who can resist that someone is complaining you that you have to improved in front of the boss

I don't know why i have cried

Because i have do nothing wrong instead i give a broad smile to him

Why? Why is me?

And why should it be before i want to quit this game?

My good feeling is ruined by the comment form

And i have no way to explain why i will cry till that misery

I promised that i will do my best, then i will till the moment i leave

I don't want to give a bad impression to you all

I knew i am not good enough to be a helper

I promised to myself, i will control my feeling

From that moment i try try try till the end

Sometimes it will be better if we never grew up

It's better to know nothing than know everything

It's getting harder and pressure when you grew up

As many thing you need to learn and try

Without courage you will be abandoned by the community

Anyway ,

at least i know that being a child is the best thing i had ever

And i enjoy so much to teach the child

They are innocent and superb cute

Sometimes they may be annoying

But every times you holding their little soft hand you will be enhanced by their innocent thinking or whatever

It's, it's like you become a small child again

It's so charm

Comfortable

And blissful

Here are those photos i take when working there

It's been memories

However I'm thinking will they miss me or cry if i were not there

Adui

This picture is taken during CNY celebration, they are wearing traditional custom, so nice and cute!

The girl has big eye! She is the first one who said i like you to me! so sweet!


First time meet him, he is a very nice and clever boy. But after you close to him, he became naughty and awful. He likes to kiss many things including your hand and leg, anything!

The handsome bot at Q-dees! HE is very clever too!And he likes a Chinese girl too, isn't very dramatic?

They are reading books, so tension?! haha

Adui, this fellow is the most naughty at afternoon class, see what is he doing.

Looking for something to play

Can't find a thing, so he decide to play around and dancing

He said: no one can win me!

The morning class

The afternoon class


Oh! what a beautiful scene! teehee!

Maybe it's a good thing for me to leave that place earlier

It's memorable and sad place for me too

Anyway, i will take all my courage and walk through all these troublesome!

Because i am not that weak!

Bye!

无言

2011-02-16T20:33:00.001+08:00

没有情人的情人节代表着什么

那等于空

说真的

我真的从来没有认真的考虑

我就是那么容易被欺负吗

从一开始

你都没认真过

我就只是你身旁的玩具

也没有顾虑过我的感受

总觉得我一无事出

在学校也是一样

做工了也是一样

很辛苦

也很无奈

没有人了解我

想痛哭一场

又何苦呢

没人会懂

也没人会体谅

我不想一个人度过每一天

不喜欢孤单的生活

不喜欢寂寞的日子

或许我还不习惯没有你打扰我

一个人

什么都不是

也没人会理

I choose not to be pessimistic

But i failed

I choose not to be rude

But i failed

I choose not to think about you

But i failed

I choose not to be alone

But i failed

That's a horrible life for me

I really want to learn to be mature

Don't want to be childish anymore

Don't want to murmuring at anyone else

Don't want to make an one feel annoying

Don't want to let my tears off again

I tried

Tried

And tried

Really trying

Please forgive me.

I won't do the same thing again

Really

I hope so...